Many parents wish that they had received more encouragement from hospital staff to do the following:
- dress their baby
- bathe their baby
- undress and examine baby
- take handprints
- take footprints
- make clay molds of hands/feet
- take lock of hair
- take time to go outside, or even go home, before induction
- have Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep to take photographs
- have staff take portraits of baby
- take pictures of baby themselves
- take pictures of baby's entire body
- take pictures of baby with parents/family members
- take pictures without flash so that skin imperfections are less visible
- keep blanket that baby was wrapped in
- speak with grief counselor, chaplain, social worker
- spend more time with baby
- keep baby overnight
- see baby again the next day
- keep hospital bracelets with baby's name, just as live babies receive
- keep baby's first diaper
- use mirror during pushing, just as moms of live babies do
- videotape their time with baby
- keep tape measure that measured baby
- keep card with baby's weight, length, name, gender
- keep holy water used to baptize baby
- keep hospital cap baby wore
- have family members come in and spend time with baby
- have autopsy performed
- plan own burial/funeral instead of having hospital take care of remains
| Many parents regretted or expressed dissatisfaction about the following:
- staff didn't call baby by name
- staff did not encourage them to do the things on the list to the left
- they were put on the regular recovery floor within earshot of crying newborns
- they were wheeled past the nursery
- the anesthesiologist seemed to be unaware of the situation
- no sticker was put on the door, maid and food service asked about baby
- they weren't given written information on options for final rest
- they weren't given books/info on grieving until they were released, instead of during hospital stay
- they hadn't been talked to about the importance of kick counts during pregnancy
- they had to wait with happy pregnant women for follow up appointment
- receptionist/nurse wasn't aware of situation and asked about baby/breastfeeding at follow up appointment
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